


TUA but its My Immortal

by EdgarAllenPosies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, my immortal parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarAllenPosies/pseuds/EdgarAllenPosies
Summary: it says it in the title. this was a mistake





	1. Chapter 1

Chapters 1 & 2

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (not in that way) Scarlett, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Scarlett Mid'night Polio Crow Iero and I have long fiery red hair (that's how I got my name) with pink streaks and dark red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like a ginger Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Frank Iero but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I was born on the 1st of October, along with 700 other kids, but none of our moms were pregnant before going into labour, I'm number 666, and my power is that im a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I was raised in an orphanage but i left cause it was full of preps. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black shirt with zips and safety pins all over it, a red tie and a red and black plaid skirt, and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking to the front door of the umbrella academy. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Luther Hargreeves opened the door and looked at me. I put up my middle finger at him.

i ignored Luther because he is a whiny prep and went into the house (i had just moved in), Reginald Hargreeves is a fucking prep who only got 8 kids but more of us showed up later 

"Hey Scarlett!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Diego Hargreeves!

"What's up Diego?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friend Allison call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Zella (AN: Scarlett dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Diego Hargreeves yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Diego?" she asked as we went out of our room and down to the kitchen of the umbrella academy

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Diego walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in town." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapters 3 & 4

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then so i had a glass of water and read a depressing book while I waited for it to be empty and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Diego was waiting there in front of his car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Diego!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Scarlett." he said back. We walked into his black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and drove to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. diego cracked an egg into his mouth, which always got him really hyped. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Diego, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Diego looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Diego sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he went with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Diego. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Diego and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Diego didn't go back to the umbrella academy, instead he drove the car into… the a completely randon Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok scarletta's name is SCATLYY nut mary su OK! DIEGO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DIEGO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Diego didn't answer but he stopped the car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Scarlett?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Diego leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. His gf had just died but as avril said, he needs a new one, and i more goffick anyways 

And then… suddenly just as I Diego kissed me passionately. Diego climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Pogo!


	3. yea

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Pogo swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Pogo made and Diego and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Diego comforted me. When we went back to the the umbrella academy Pogo took us to Grace and Luther who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the a random Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Grace.

"How dare you?" demanded Luther.

And then Diego shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Pogo and Grace still looked mad but Luther thought about his sister who he was into for some reason and said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Diego and I went upstairs while the thry glared at us.

"Are you okay, Scarlett?" Diego asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to my room and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Diego was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Kitchen, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with curly black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. he was wearing red contact lenses just like Diegos and there were dog tags around his neck to remember his ex bf who died (bi guys are do hut xD). He had a manly stubble on his chin. He was putting on a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Nathan from misfits but emo and sad. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Klaus Hargreeves, although most people call me The Séance these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I talk to the dead." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Deigo came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


End file.
